Comments on Dating is Warfare: Portland Purge

Hey, I dumped my boyfriend and then broke into tea...

2009-08-03T17:03:55.164-07:00

Hey, I dumped my boyfriend and then broke into tears years later after moving on when I heard he was engaged. In tears. In front of strangers.

I put it down to this: I always want whoever it is to like me best no matter what I actually want or feel.

It seems there are many of us about me having a si...

2009-07-28T11:32:41.234-07:00

It seems there are many of us about me having a similar story

If its any consolation, I had the exact same situa...

2009-07-26T21:33:45.561-07:00

If its any consolation, I had the exact same situation (minus the military) happen to me… through a weird set of circumstances, 6 years after we had broken up and he had married a young thing who would also be much more “pliable”, we were back in touch and friendly. And the best thing ever happened- he was about as happy as he had ever been- that is to say he wasn’t at all. He had the exact same complaints about every area of his life, only the people had changed… and it dawned on me- that I had romanticized the life he would live after he devastated mine, to the point I forgot who he actually was. .. he was still a miserable douche and that anger FINALLY disappeared for good. I even see pics of his new family on facebook and not even a twinge of anything. So please take solace in the fact that naval-ahole will never be as happy with his young, stupid wife as you may think... he will always be an ahole :-)

Although everyone is right, there is nothing like ...

2009-07-24T11:25:25.320-07:00

Although everyone is right, there is nothing like a good and final purge.

Also, I love that you are creating new memories in the North West Region with Wine Guy... now your context of that beautiful area will slowly transition to better things.

xoxo

Mimi and Anon are right. Thank your LUCKY STARS t...

2009-07-20T16:47:29.720-07:00

Mimi and Anon are right.

Thank your LUCKY STARS that you are rid of the idiot.

It's a blessing.

oh god, don't waste another minute on that jerk. y...

2009-07-19T19:12:50.018-07:00

oh god, don't waste another minute on that jerk. you need to say this to yourself and to believe it: JUST BECAUSE HE'S MARRIED, THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE WILL BE HAPPY.

for all you know, 1) she's pregnant and they 'had' to' 2) she felt strongly, he didn't; 3) he needed to be on her health insurance or vice versa; 4) they *seem* happy *now*, but in ten years, you & Wine Guy will be the parents of 2 children and 2 dogs, and NAH & Ms. Ditzy will be divorced.

I'd put money on that last one.

don't waste another second on them: thank your lucky stars that 1) you're rid of him and
2) you found Wine Guy.

I just finished reading an old post of yours calle...

2009-07-17T23:31:52.143-07:00

I just finished reading an old post of yours called - "Listen to the straight talk".

You should go back and read what you wrote again.

As you said, naval a-hole always responded to your compliments by saying "No, really I'm not a nice guy."

Gotta say, one of the Ass Hats I used to be involved with said essentially the same thing all the time.

And he was right.

I am considering a guy on Match.com right now. I love that his tag line is "Not your bad boy".

Those are the men we should be with.

Personally, I don't believe men have more choices....

2009-07-16T21:15:15.964-07:00

Personally, I don't believe men have more choices. Not in the least. Sorry, but as much as we see older guys marrying younger girls, there are limits.

There are tons of older men who are ignored in the dating world.

Here is the bottom line: That 26-year-old girl just married an Ass Hat. How can anyone feel jealous of her?

And he just married a girl who doesn't know he's an Ass Hat. That's not exactly a soul connection is it?

Don't take his abandonment of you so personally. It's what Ass Hat's do, much the same way as tigers kill for food - it's what they do.

BTW, I too met an Australian navy officer online once. While we were planning to meet, he disappeared without a trace too. You are not so alone.

I feel for you. I can relate. I think part of you...

2009-07-16T17:47:28.160-07:00

I feel for you. I can relate.

I think part of your distress is that he got married before you did. And that men seem to have so many options. And they seem content with exactly the things that would drive you crazy, like a hot young thing without too many brains.

Whether or not he's happy with his life or his choices -- that's out of your hands and your scope. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't....but his life is not your life.

So fuck him.

--JAC

Listen to Liz Phair's "Polyester Bride" 5 or 6 tim...

2009-07-16T16:31:19.809-07:00

Listen to Liz Phair's "Polyester Bride" 5 or 6 times, eat several of these: http://voodoodoughnut.com/menu.php
and have an awesome trip with Wine Guy!

Hugs,
ML