Comments on Dating is Warfare: Only Child +1

go on with your life, love and live like your dyin...

2010-09-15T23:21:56.236-07:00

go on with your life, love and live like your dying. forget the one who hurt you and take care of your kid. Stay a simple life and have fun

Hi DT, I follow your blog and have missed you, an...

2010-08-02T07:52:08.504-07:00

Hi DT,

I follow your blog and have missed you, and - in that weird way that can be possible without knowing someone at all - I wonder if you're ok, and hope that you are.

Just thought I'd let you know that you're missed, and this random stranger is wishing you well.

Elizabeth

50% of marriages do not end up in divorce. That s...

2010-05-23T22:58:52.836-07:00

50% of marriages do not end up in divorce. That statistic gets repeated all the time and is completely misleading.

Divorce is highly correlated with the couple's socioeconomic status. The rate of divorce for college grads is in the twenty-something percent range - and even that is after decades.

In order to even get high divorce rates, you have to collect divorce rates over decades. As the decades go by, obviously the rate increases. If someone divorces after 30 or 40 years, do we assume the marriage was never good?

You can google "divorce rates" and find the studies.

Marriage is very cultural. Love is not marriage an...

2010-05-16T06:03:20.015-07:00

Marriage is very cultural. Love is not marriage and marriage is not love. And 50% of American marriages end up in divorces anyway. French people for example marry much less than American couples. Really, let's not mix the two.

Dating Trooper, I thought of you today. I talked...

2010-05-04T15:29:08.513-07:00

Dating Trooper,

I thought of you today. I talked to a psychic at California Psychics. Yes, I know that will sound crazy to some people, but I know you've posted about one before.

Anyway, I've talked to them before, but there is a new guy there by the name of Leo that is amazing. He talks more about "you" as a person and what's going on with you.

He also taps into people around you and what's going on with them. My father is a problem in my life and he described him as if he'd been observing him for decades.

Also nailed a past boyfriend and confirmed my thoughts on what happened with no input from me.

I think he could give you the clarity you need.

Actually, Anon, I'm the Anon you disagree wit...

2010-05-04T15:22:05.679-07:00

Actually, Anon,

I'm the Anon you disagree with. You misread my comment though.

I did not say Only Child got married because +1 is "the one". I was responding to the comment that lot's of men aren't able to be swept off their feet.

But I do agree that Dating Trooper gets a gold star for ending it. I think anyone gets a gold star for opting out of a ridiculous situation.

Most of us will kick ourselves for not doing it sooner when we look back.

I'd like to see Dating Trooper not feel that dating is warfare at all. It's only warefare if we buy into that idea and allow our own mistreatment.

Personally, I've never regretted cutting the cord when something isn't right. It's done nothing but given me self-respect. There's nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves and not wasting our time.

Really - the thing you deserve the gold star for w...

2010-05-03T09:12:59.776-07:00

Really - the thing you deserve the gold star for was finally getting out of that relationswhip ( even though it did play right into his passive aggressive plan). I disagree with Anon - the main reason this person married was because he was too embarrassed to do the same thing again. +1 is still with an ONLY.

How long we are supposed to wait? See, here's...

2010-04-20T08:31:49.049-07:00

How long we are supposed to wait?

See, here's the thing. If you are currently stuck in a relationship that's not going where you want, then Mr. Right can't date you.

You have to be willing to let go of the "nothing" you have in order to receive the a potential something.

No guarantees. Courage is required. And the ability to open your hands and let go.

There is nothing wrong with wanting marriage. Don't stuff your feelings as if you don't have a right to the life you want.

In your heart of hearts, you want someone who wants to marry you with no hesitation - because you are Ms. Right for him.

You have indeed shown amazing restraint! I'm ...

2010-04-19T07:04:15.901-07:00

You have indeed shown amazing restraint! I'm glad the whole thing hasn't affected you as drastically as you feared it might - that is probably a sign that your current life is actually pretty great, "by the book marriage proposal" or not. Yay for you!

Elizabeth

But then there's also (and you only meet this ...

2010-04-17T12:55:14.515-07:00

But then there's also (and you only meet this type when you're a dating sexagenarian) the kind of man who proposes ** a lot **, like some of the guys I met. One had been married 4x, another 3x. Funny Guy has been married twice. So a willingness / an eagerness / a need to get married, lots of experience in proposing, is not necessarily a Good Thing either.

Okay in an ideal world there would be one (successful) proposal per person.

Yeah.

Anon - You nailed me on that sentence, which I deb...

2010-04-16T15:01:12.995-07:00

Anon - You nailed me on that sentence, which I debated over endlessly. I kind of agree with you and I kind of don't. Depends on the guy and, well, how long we are all supposed to wait around for if/when that potentially non-existent "right person" comes along. But yeah, good point.

"I told him that he's not the type of guy...

2010-04-16T12:27:05.756-07:00

"I told him that he's not the type of guy who's able to let go enough to be swept off his feet. Lots of men aren't."

Until they meet the girl they just can't live without. Then they propose because they must seal the deal.