Comments on Dating is Warfare: The Cloud Breaks, Momentarily

Ah, trolls... any whoo... I've been reading y...

2011-05-13T16:50:19.973-07:00

Ah, trolls... any whoo...

I've been reading your blog since the beginning, Trooper, and I have to say, you really live up to your moniker. The past year sounds really awful and intense. Try not to be too hard on yourself. While it is good to recognize where you need to work on your relationship, and when your behaviour isn't the best, beating yourself up for it just generally makes things worse. I hope you can be gentle with yourself while you heal, and build up the energy needed to focus on your relationship.

This post, strangely enough, inspired me to contact a few people I've been hiding from this year. I've hunkered in and been a home body - had some things happen this fall/winter that made me want to duck and cover - and let a lot of friendships lapse. Thanks for the reminder of the value of outside relationships. I actually really needed it.

Wishing you the best with your surgery, and with Wine Guy.

hey sonny boy...Did you call her before her pitifu...

2011-03-30T13:13:19.277-07:00

hey sonny boy...Did you call her before her pitiful post or after she sounded like she was going to jump off a cliff? Were you one of the minions or friends that dropped off and not called her and now you feel a little bad about it and so you think just because you defend her and use asshole a lot you are now her hero? You are just as pitiful as the whine guy. The purpose of blog just in case you didn’t know is to talk about yourself and get responses. I am anonymous because in the scheme of things, it should not matter what I say. But thank goodness for you. Make sure you and Charlotte hit up that German Joint..sounds fantastic.

To the anonymous comment two up from this one - yo...

2011-03-29T15:01:37.593-07:00

To the anonymous comment two up from this one - you’re an asshole.
Let me repeat myself. You. Are. An. Asshole.
I’m betting that you’re reading this, too. Based on SiteMeter trends from my old blog, pricks like you return to see what kind of reaction you elicit. It’s the Internet version of that ding-dong-dash game kids play. Always hiding behind the neighbor’s bushes, snickering like a vindictive brat, patting yourself on the back at how clever you are.
And of _course_ you’re an anonymous commenter. Only an anonymous jerkoff such as yourself would write a post like that without having the cojones to sign it. It’s a passively vindictive, mean girlsy thing you guys do. Proud of yourself? Kicking someone when they are down? Classy.
Ever have debilitating pain? And I’m not talking about a cat scratch or a mildly sprained ankle that you can walk off a day later. I’m talking about injuries that require lengthy hospital stays, surgery, paying off bills through credit card specials because the health insurance is tapped out. Trust me, it changes you and everyone who lives with you. I wrenched my back years ago and it was over six months before I could even walk one flight of stairs again. And that’s not even factoring in the meds, which changed my eating habits, reduced my drive to exercise, and seriously messed with my head when I stopped taking them.
That’s kinda what Trooper’s dealing with now. I’ve seen the crutches and I’m generally familiar with the results of her operations. And unlike you, after I read this, I called her, and a second time, just to make sure she was okay. FWIW, her conversational tone is quite upbeat, even a little goofy at times. You wouldn’t know that by reading this post, but then again, you admitted you just read the one post.
Something for you to think about, dickhead. And seriously, think about it the next time you read a post that is driven by raw emotion. Consider what event(s) might have prompted it. If possible, get out of your own shoes for once and try to discern the Chapter One of that person’s life. Not everyone has it easy. I get it. You don’t.
In the meantime, while you think about that, please spare everyone your opinions. Turn off your computer, don’t come back, don’t leave your house, don’t breed, and don’t intermingle with the rest of us in general circulation. Acknowledge to yourself that you are a waste of space, and that posts like this don’t change that you remain a self-hating troll. Please stay under the fecally-encrusted rock in which you hide. Because when you crawl out from under it, you interfere with the general enjoyment of life for everyone else.
SA
P.S. - Trooper, my offer to grab a beer at the German joint in our neighborhood still stands. If you want, Charlotte and I can swing by and pick you up. I apologize to everyone else. Ask Trooper: on most days I’m a mellow person. I just hate general jackassery like the comment I read above. I’m in a bad mood today, and I took it out on someone. The difference is, I save it for those who deserve it.

Wow, that last comment is truly uncalled for. U h...

2011-03-24T10:25:39.479-07:00

Wow, that last comment is truly uncalled for. U hope you can easily dismiss it as though you never saw it.

I was so happy to see you post something again, even if it's painfully reflective of what a tough year you've had.

I wish you all the best and hope you will continue to check in with us periodically.

Elizabeth

Is this blog for real? I just read this one page ...

2011-03-23T14:19:46.918-07:00

Is this blog for real?
I just read this one page so far and I could not help but think Alan Funt was going to jump out of the bushes.
I love bloggers that complain about their men and the reason they can’t keep them. This is the best one yet. If this guy stays with you it’s definitely for pity. I can’t imagine being with someone that walks on eggshells and is afraid of me. Especially someone that pays ½ the mortgage. What kind of person does that make him? Pitiful in his own right. Where is his self esteem? Wait, did I see that you called him “Whine Guy”? I can only imagine the fun times that are to come. Hold on, there is a Naval a-hole and only Child plus one that caught on before it was too late for them. I don’t know the whole story, but this small bit of info should be a clue to: RUN Whine GUY, I mean WINE GUY, run and keep running. The weight loss will do you both some good.

Also I recommend that you practice coming to the r...

2011-03-23T00:41:02.143-07:00

Also I recommend that you practice coming to the realization that Naval A-Hole's actions should not be taken personally.

He's damaged goods. What he did says something about HIM, not YOU.

You could have just as easily met someone wonderful.

By all means, get the medical care. I don't t...

2011-03-23T00:35:58.883-07:00

By all means, get the medical care. I don't think for one minute that I personally would act okay if pain ruled my days.

One thing to ask yourself - do you think that your anger is caused by a combination of physical pain AND feeling impatient with Wine Guy's level of commitment?

Could it be that it's a lethal combination?

Just asking because it's the first thing that came to mind.

Backup to what Loverville said. Everything I can t...

2011-03-15T07:49:52.233-07:00

Backup to what Loverville said. Everything I can think of to say sounds like cliches (and I can't even do the accent aigu for the e),
but I'll say a bit anyway: do whatever it takes to keep going in a better way. For some people, and I know I'm one of them, everything is harder, so work, love, friends, just existing - all take more deliberate effort. Just keep on making that effort, and do the therapy, or the writing, do everything and anything, because the alternative is giving up. Don't do that. -- I was so glad to read about WG's little smile as he went out to exercise! That's a small victory -- that he could feel it, that you could see it -- and if you hang in there, there will be more of those.

I hope this is semi-coherent; it was written on only 3 ounces of coffee.

xoxoxoxo Mimi

Big, big hug! No advice, but I like what the oth...

2011-03-14T19:47:38.418-07:00

Big, big hug! No advice, but I like what the others had to say.

It WILL get better, and it sounds like you're on your way to turning that corner -- keep it going.

Another big hug -- I have a feeling I WILL see you in NY, hopefully later this year!
~LV

I'm also sorry to hear of the emotional and ph...

2011-03-10T05:05:56.952-08:00

I'm also sorry to hear of the emotional and physical pain you have been going through.

I can also really recommend imago couples therapy and I know you have a counsellor but if you are ever interested in a different approach, have a look into Gestalt therapy. It helped turn my life around and the emphasis on body work and how we hold trauma in the body is both a revelation and incredibly effective.

Sending you love across the ocean and it is always good to read your blogs.

Hey there... so sorry to hear this, and I can comm...

2011-03-09T11:34:32.734-08:00

Hey there... so sorry to hear this, and I can commiserate, as the last two years have been a chronic pain nightmare for me, too, since a car wreck. And add on a ton of steroid injections, and, well, I am just a peach!

Can ya' move around at all? Even light walks together can help with the moods. Or moving about in warm water is supposed to be great for pain. I say this as I was grounded from most exercise last week. Sigh. And I discovered a book called the Mood Cure that's bringing a lot of clarity, too.

Can I recommend couple's imago therapy or an imago workshop? It's amazing the understanding it brings to a relationship and the embedded patterns. It was totally eye-opening for me and my partner. (We're now married, but this post totally hit home for me. He left our relationship when my anxiety had him on "eggshells"--his words--and he had just lost a family member. We took some time, then got back on track... But the word eggshells can't help but make me think - if you want it - save it before it's too late!)

Ok, how's that for a lot of rambling and suggestions from a random stranger on the internet? But I have read your blog for a long time, and our lives sometimes seem oddly parallel, so I wanted to chime in.

I wish ya all the best!