Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

November 4, 2011

Indian Redheads

I had every intention of meeting up with Wisconsin Red tonight. Especially after being cheered on by several persuasive readers in my last post (thanks pollycharlie, bella and mimi). But when I woke up this morning and saw it was blustering rain outside, I wondered how much I really wanted to rush around on the wet freeways, first home from work to walk my dog, then back across town to the bar he picked (a good one).

But I was still ready to rally throughout the first half of the day, until I had to walk from a distant parking lot on to campus with a crappy umbrella. I had stayed home from work the day before and still wasn't feeling well, so by the end of the day, soggy and chilled, I reconsidered my plans.

Welcome to my perfect Friday night. I stopped at the killer ramen place for a heavenly bowl of spicy miso tofu pork noodle goodness, brought it home to my happy pup, hopped in my flannel PJs and caught up on my Thursday night shows on Hulu (thank you "Modern Family" for "The Gift of the Vagi"--best line ever).

But before it could be a truly perfect evening, I had to come here to confess my cowardliness. Yes, all that stuff about me not feeling well, the rain, etc was true, but I also got scared -- and I don't get scared often.

It's not that I haven't gotten over Wine Guy, but that, for the first time, I feel protective of myself. Of my life. Of my freedom. Before I was more than happy to give it all away just to have the "marriage and child" box checked on my report card. Clearly I didn't value my own existence all that much.

Apparently I do now, a little. And since I've never dated under these circumstances, I'm afraid that I might once again compromise myself away so I can still make it under the "normal" wire. I don't want to do that, but judging by how upset I got when I found out Wisconsin Red wasn't a realistic option, I still don't trust my instincts.

Basically, I kinda freaked out and let myself off the hook. I think I'm OK with it. Hope you are too (not that care what you think, dammit :-)

The good news is, OKCupid is still coughing up some interesting possibilities, including a 27 year old, 6'1" Indian guy who asked, after telling me how much he liked what I said in my profile, if I would consider "dating a younger guy." Oh, and he actually lives here. Uh, hell yeah. (If I could just find an Indian redhead, I'd be in love).

Thank you for your patience.



Anonymous said...

You have to follow your intuition -- yours, not anyone else's. So don't call it 'freaking out'; call it making a wise decision! That's all there is to't. And good that the 'interesting possibilities' are out there & visible.

xox Mimi

ps I really love the so-called 'words' that your system makes me type out to prove I'm not a monkey or a robot: to get this message up on your site, I have to type OIZELLAT.

So DT, lots of OIZELLAT to you!

bella said...

It's none of my business, and my opinion counts for nothing. But I'll say it anyway: Amen.

I know I super encouraged you in your last post, to go on the date, and that was based on what you wrote. And now reading this, I also encourage you, once again, to go for it. But this time, the "it" I am referring to is an echo of what Mimi said: Following your intuition. It's the sharpest tool in the shed.

Glad you had a fun night at home on your own. Those nights are just as important to have as a good date night.

Rock on.

Anonymous said...

I also love red hair. And I wanted to see the outcome of this date. Although it is hard to believe that under these circumstances a long-distance thing would be feasible.

Keep oizelling at 'em!


Suteisi ♥ said...

Hey!! New reader here~

I read your previous entry and jumped along with the other readers thinking you should go. But a woman's intuition is usually her best friend, so if you didn't feel like going and you're ok with your decision, then good for you! It's ok to be scared and worried, it happens! No worries, be happy! :)

Can't wait to read more of your blog~


Cassidy Louis Price said...

Hi there!

I absolutely LOVE this site! I write for a website called and the tone of the site I write for is very similar to yours. How would you feel about having me write a guest post on your site? Kind of like an outsiders perspective on different troubles in the dating world.

Let me know if you would be interested! I'm at

Cassidy L. Price

Loverville said...

I think you made the right decision - that ramen sounds fabulous!

My word verification for this posting is "pinsupe" -- so therefore, you totally pinsuped that night!

alt com said...

Take your time if you haven't found someone interesting yet. The "coldness" of being single isn't as bad as most people think.