Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

December 25, 2009

Bejeweled Christmas

OK, I'm going to say something and please don't judge. I know how corny this sounds, but it's true nonetheless. Here goes.

There is something truly thrilling when you unwrap a gift from your boyfriend (I'm sure this applies to husbands and all sorts of other romantic attachments) and find yourself holding a velvet box containing some sort of jewelry....

Let me stop you there for a second. This is not an engagement ring. Or any ring for that matter. And I knew that and was in no way expecting one (though I wouldn't mind one either:-). So, now that we have appropriately adjusted expectations, I will continue describing the moment at hand.

...then find yourself opening the box to see something beautiful shining inside. Maybe even something you had admired a few weeks earlier when walking by a window display with your man.

I've never had that experience before today. Actually, I never even considered that I would desire that experience (except the engagement ring scenario, of course). But when it happened to me, my heart jumped a little. Before I opened the rectangular box, I glanced up to see Wine Guy nervously looking on.

See, Wine Guy is NOT comfortable with these sorts of purchases. He is not big on fashion accessories - for himself or his women. Let's put it this way, one of his previous serious girlfriends has a Ph.D. in Women's Studies and is pretty much a stereotype of what you're conservative Republican brother-in-law thinks "feminists" are like - angry at men, tattooed, smarter than them. This also explains why WG has been to more than a dozen Ani DiFranco concerts and continues to go every summer when she's in town (I love her, so that's a good thing). I have been known to call him my Lesbian Boyfriend.

So, to picture Wine Guy walking into a jewelry store and considering the purchases in front of him...well, that's huge. I wasn't going to say anything about it here (for fear of getting my mom's hopes up, but since she "promised" she would stop reading the blog, I'm going to just go for it --hi mom), but earlier in the week we were at the mall Christmas shopping and I had to go to a jewelry store to have some adjustments made on a necklace. He tagged along (reluctantly) and while we were waiting to talk to the jeweler, I wandered over to the engagement ring section, as I have done since I was a kid. I just like rings. Normally Wine Guy stands as far away as possible while this is happening, so I was surprised to find him standing right next to me looking over my shoulder.

Here is where the new strategy I discussed in the previous post comes into play (for Dishy, who requested more examples of my version of male manipulation). Instead of my normal smart ass remark ("Wow, look at these rings. And with Christmas just around the corner." Or "My hand is feeling naked all of a sudden"), I continued to admire the objects, then calmly pointed towards one that caught my eye. Ever so nonchalantly I said, "This is the kind of ring I always liked."

It was a little risky, but I pulled it off. I say this because of his reaction. He didn't walk away. He didn't laugh. He didn't make a smart ass comment. He just stayed there, looking over my shoulder and eventually responding with "Oh, I see." Before I could ruin the moment, I casually strolled to another display case.

Here comes the kicker. He then declares, "Wow. These aren't as expensive as I thought they'd be. They aren't engagement rings are they?" When I assured him they were, he continued to look. Like with his eyes, people.

I said it before and I'll say it again. They need to think it's their idea.

Then the jeweler came out and we started talking about what I needed done.
Thank God, because I was surely about to ruin the moment with my trusty Sledgehammer of Truth.

But I digress. Here we are, Christmas Day. I hold in my hand a black velvet box displaying a pretty silver and black sparkly pendant hanging off a silver chain. I remembered it from the jewelry store. Immediately he jumps in with disclaimers, "This is just a placeholder gift. I think there might be ones you'll like more inside the store. We can go back and pick out another one. You don't have to like it."

I did like it and told him he didn't need to say all of that. I was touched. But eventually we did agree that we should go back to the store together since I had only seen what they had in the window display. Plus, the chain was far too short (always the case with me. Apparently I have a football player's neck).

But none of that changed the fact that he did this - bought jewelry - just for me. Just to make me happy. I always say/whine, "I just want a guy to go out of his way for me, just once." I think it's time I stop saying/whining that.

Again, I know this is corny but I'm putting it out there. Guys, buy your ladies some jewelry. I promise, it's always a good decision.

And yes, mom, you were right.

Wishing you all a Happy Holiday! You are merrily dismissed.

P.S. As my good friends should already know about me, please act as if I never told you the engagement ring story. It's better for everyone not to get our hopes up, right?
(I fully intended to post a photo of the necklace by the way, but something is up with Blogger's insert photo tool. If anyone asks me, I will try again later to post it. And yes, this is also a bit of a test to see if anyone actually reads all the way to the end! )

Addendum 12/30/09 - Thanks for asking :-)


Loverville said...

What a lovely story! Yes, would love to see a pic -- and yes, some of us DO read to the end!

Happy Holidays!

cjdubwright said...

YES!!! Updated blog. I could not wait to see if you were engaged. Seeing as I am totally hooked on the blog and the updates. But I have to tell you, it is not him that is changing his way of thinking. It is you that has finally started to come around. wg will always be the way that he is. Whether it is tomorrow or 10 years from now. Please do not think that you have him finally coming around to your way of thinking because it is not so. I would hate to think that you think you can change him after being married, babies, etc...


Dark Cloud Nine said...

The first piece of jewelry of a long series I am sure... Merry Christmas to you!!

Dating Trooper said...

@cjdubwright, great comment and glad you made it because I probably haven't come right and said it. To be clear, I wholeheartedly understand that I am the only one who can do the changing. And that most of our conflict (though not all) is due to my own "stuff." I did some real soul searching this year and have come to a few major positive self realizations. It was hard to face my own blame but now that I'm through it, it is quite liberating. Especially when i can so obviously see how much my behavior can affect how people (especially WG) react to me.

All this to say, I totally agree with you.

Anonymous said...

Glad you updated the blog. I understand what you mean about changing---you are the one who is doing the changing, and it does positively impact your relationship. I think your attitude is really great---Happy Holidays!

Anonymous said...

Yay! Glad you had a good Xmas. Yes, it's silly how much pretty sparkly things in boxes can mean - I totally get it. But they sure are fun sometimes - and how sweet that he was so concerned about you getting something you like.
Merry merry!


Deidre said...

Of course we want to see pictures :)

Merry Christmas, and I am so very happy for you.

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

Well, I'm very happy about this. It's all a very good sign -- on both sides. I think I'll have to do a post about my first Christmas with Funny Guy (which, as you know, Loverville was present for!).

Okay, I've gotta take time away from the novel to write the post.

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR to you & Wine Guy, and I'm really glad to read this post.


Dating Trooper said...

Thanks for the nice thoughts everyone! And, of course, thanks for reading to the end :-)
Picture now posted!
Happy New Year to you all

Tasha said...

He did a great job on the Christmas shopping! Way to go Wine Guy! Happy New Year to you!

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