Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

August 28, 2009

List of Laments

It's 2:20am, I'm wide awake after two hours of fitful tossing and turning. What better way to sort out why than a blog entry? Due to the hour and my drowsy state of mind, allow me to list out the recent events of my life that are flashing around in my mind in a pitch black bedroom (Wine Guy peacefully snoring beside me).

Within the last two weeks I have learned the following:
1. Naval A-hole is married (as discussed here).

2. I learned that Only Child got engaged (and, unlike the way it was with me, he actually sounds like he will go through with it. He even manned up and bought a ring this time).

3. I attended Gouda's baby shower last weeekend. She met her boyfriend about six months after I hooked up with Wine Guy. Apparently they had a little "oops" last New Years that left her happily knocked up with no pressure to tie the knot (though her bf would be more than happy to). Oh, did I mention that baby showers are the equivalent of teeth pullings for me? Though in fairness it was lovely and Gouda seems very happy.

4. RSVP'd yes to a wedding of another friend who is tying the knot with her Navy boyfriend. She met him about one year after I met Wine Guy. Yes, I'm very happy for her. And yes, it makes me feel.....left in the dust AGAIN. ( I know, I know. It's not a race. Tell me that all you want. But it still feels like I'm losing anyway.)

5. Serious (and none-too-surprising) life drama with my troublesome siblings lately, all taking place while I'm trying to make my mom's 70th birthday (which is hitting her - and me- hard) a happy one for her despite the drama that I know is bringing her down.

6. My recovery from hip surgery has ceased to be a positive experience. I healed extremely fast at the beginning. But instead of that being the good thing I thought it was, it ended up meaning that my bone was in hyper drive heal mode and grew too much. Right into the soft tissue and muscle, causing increasing pain and lack of mobility. After a fight to get more pain meds (and essentially being accused by the nurse of just trying to score narcotics to feed a supposed addiction), I finally saw the surgeon who confirmed I am one of the very few this happens to and that I have to wait until NEXT SPRING to have the problem fixed since the bone has to stop growing first. This means continued, if not increased pain and lack of mobility for five more freakin' months. All the while I get fatter and crankier.

7. Wine Guy's father is not in good health and he now has to fly out to Texas during his planned week off to check on his parents.

I'm sure I could think of something else if I wanted to make myself feel even worse. But I'll spare us both and stop.

Honestly, if I really think about it, my life is still pretty good. I may not be getting exactly what I want, but what I have is still worth being thankful for. I even got a new second income opportunity that arose out of this very blog! So that is keeping me inspired for the future. And Wine Guy finally got a new job (he's been MISERABLE for over a year at his current one) and I know he will be a much happier companion when he is content in his professional life. Plus, his new job is with a company that lets you bring your dog to work! So Luna will get to have a daily commute and spend the day at the office with her daddy. That makes me very happy.

So, that's what's going on with me. Hopefully your own personal battlefield has far less casualties than mine at the moment. Let's be thankful that it is now Friday.
Thanks for listening, my blog-reading friends.

Dismissed.

August 17, 2009

Are you a Sloane or a Diane?

Is Sloane Peterson the perfect girlfriend we should all aspire to be?

If you don't know who Sloane is, well...Remember that guy John Hughes everyone was talking about last week because he dropped dead in Manhattan? Well, he wrote and directed movies. A few really darn good ones, especially if you were an adolescent in the 1980s.

Quite possibly his best was "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," which you must have seen channel surfing on TV at least some point in your life. Sloane Peterson is Ferris' extremely calm, cool, collected and sexy girlfriend. I remember being a teenager and wondering if I'll ever be as absolutely confident in my own sexiness as Sloane was (the answer: No).

Although the actress who played her, Mia Sara, never really reached iconic starlet status, the character she portrayed lives on. In the case of this blogger, she is the model of the kind of girlfriend we should all be if we want to ever catch and hold on to a guy as cool as Ferris.

Thoughts?

I did like Ferris and all, but I feel I should point out that I am much more a Lloyd Dobler kind of girl. It's good to know that the Diane Courts of the world can find (and presumably keep) a guy too. Even if they are the neurotic guys that think too much. (Again, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, get thee to Netflix as fast as possible and rent Cameron Crowe's "Say Anything." If I had to pick, I'd take Cameron over John Hughes any day, though may he rest in peace.)

Dismissed.

August 13, 2009

Bizarre Dating Websites

I don't know about any of you 30+ single ladies, but when I was on the prowl I noticed a distinct and rapid decline in interest from male suitors in the online dating realm the moment I passed the 32-year mark. From my late twenties until then, Match.com, Yahoo Personals and E-Harmony were all bountiful hunting grounds. Meaning, I got some emails from guys I might actually consider dating. And even a few replies when I dared to email the guy first.

But the second I hit that do-or-die close to mid-thirties range, the men disappeared fast. Seriously. I went from feeling completely bombarded on Match.com to, one year later, hearing crickets. And nothing changed on my profile except my age.

I know several other amazingly beautiful, smart,funny, low maintenance, single, mid-thirties women who are facing the same problem. It could very well be a San Diego thing, as men here tend to want the late 20s arm piece who will go jogging with them on the beach every day and cheer them on during their triathlons. And if you won't do those things, they at least want you to be in your 20s. But either way, the whole thing is desperately annoying.

I may not be out there on the market these days, but I still feel your pain.

Which is why I had to share this link with you today. At first I thought it was kind of funny. But now I'm thinking it might be the saddest list I've ever seen. I don't know. But at least we can feel better (?) knowing that there are lots of other people out there who also feel left out of the mainstream online dating world (with some left far, far, far out).

So here it is. Enjoy.
Top 10 Bizarre Dating Websites

Dismissed.