Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

April 21, 2009

Rebirth of the Blog

As much as I love Wine Guy and all the fodder he has given me for this blog, I have to admit that his arrival on the scene just two months after it first launched (Feb. 2007) took me (and you guys) down an entirely different - and perhaps less entertaining- path than I had intended.

I wanted to tell stories. Funny ones. Pathetic ones. Unbelievable ones. And all true ones. Basically the stories about dating that make it all sometimes feel like an excruciating war that, if you survive with your dignity intact (let alone with a significant other), you feel like you deserve a medal, a statue, and an annual reunion with your fellow war buddies. Instead, what you ended up getting with this blog was a bunch of neurotic relationship-building blather.

Well, I'm done with that --at least until something major happens with us. In the meantime, I don't think you want to hear about how Wine Guy and I split up the house cleaning chores or that WG's farts are growing more frequent, louder, and more entertaining - to him.

Instead, I'm going to tap into the extensive reservoir of dating stories I never got to tell you. The ones that formed my perspective and the ones, frankly, I think you might actually want to read.

If it has to do with a boy that caught my eye, it's fair game. and trust me, I have stories that go back to kindergarten. Hopefully this will keep you interested, entertained and - most importantly - feeling like you're not in this alone.

It all boils down to this - I forgot this damn blog was supposed to be FUN! Not just for the readers but for me too, dammit. Bitching and moaning about whatever is bothering me that day (there's always something) and getting nasty comments about how my ovaries are drying up while I waste time being with the man I love (who hasn't proposed yet)....NOT FUN.

Since I'm on medical leave and have NOTHING to do all day, I hope to post more frequently. That's my goal anyway. There's only so much knitting and TV watching a person can do in a day.

Hope you stick around for the rebirth of Dating is Warfare.



Life On Edge. said...

I had tried to send you a message on twitter after you had closed the comments to that previous post because I was outraged by the downers... (I wanted to post a comment before that had NOTHING to do with what I read) but anyways... I think you should write for you, about what you want...
Please don't let ANYBODY tell you how you should feel.
You sound like an amazing person.

ween52 said...

obviously u can post whatever you like on your own blog, but just wanted to say- i liked your stories about wine someone in a relationship it is comforting to know when someone is going through similar stuff with their own boyfriend.
anyway just letting u know, whenever u feel like writing about wine guy i like it!

Anonymous said...

Ditto on ween52's msg - I've enjoyed your blog greatly, especially as it mirrors so much of my relationship stuff. Your experiences, joys, challenges, etc... w/ WG are so familiar to me and I always took it in the spirit of a positive, strong relationship - none of 'em are perfect - we all have stuff to sort out. But I'm glad you're feeling a little more in charge again and am sure your dating stories will be entertaining also! (We all have those too!)

Glad you're healing well.


Dating Trooper said...

Thank you guys for your comments. They really mean a lot to me. Sometimes it feels like I'm writing into a void so it's nice that I am connecing with some of you out there. I promise to keep up my WG tales too..but sometimes it feels good to take a break from relationship crap and play around in my memories. A healthy balance. But very happy to hear from you!

Anonymous said...

Right now, your priority is your hip and your health. I mean, your surgery kind of forces you to focus on that, but it is okay to take an interregnum from your life and do nothing that will interfere with your healing. Health and safety first!

I don't know that the previous commenters were intending to be "mean" about WG. This medium makes everything sound mean, even when it is actually matter of fact.

Relationship issues tend to work themselves out. From what you've written, WG is a total "guy's guy." Objectively, that is not necessarily a failing, but in many ways he speaks a language foreign to you. He doesn't know what a wedding shower is, he is clearly not thinking about relationship stuff as you are, he is definitely not ruminating over it.

Possibly he needs a nudge? Possibly it wasn't the best strategy to move in together? (I happen to think you need the clear understanding that it is a prelude to engagement. That's because there is so much room for misunderstanding. One party thinks it is a step forward in the relationship and the other thinks it is a way to save on rent.) This is not intended to make you feel bad, but just to think through your options, which I'm sure you already have.

My parents had such a tale. My mother gave my father an ultimatum and then dumped him. He came crawling back. There are definitely passive guys who need a push.

In another case, I know a girl who "accidentally" got pregnant. He couldn't live with himself unless he married her. They now have three daughters. She completely knew what she was doing. At any rate, giving him a push gets you an answer, and it is always better to know.

Then again, I know another girl who had a guy who, after 10 years, wouldn't marry her. They now have three kids and live in a big farmhouse. He still won't marry her. They had a rocky relationship from the beginning, and she felt she had no other options. But she really wanted kids. He is a very passive guy who has been unemployed for ages and goes off alone on long bike rides all the time.

Another friend got married on an ultimatum. It lasted less than two years. So these anecdotes tell you exactly nothing!

Be well, take care of that hip, and don't stop posting about you and WG. I also think WG is more interesting than old failed dates. There are zillions of other blogs that cover that territory. Yours is refreshing.

Loverville said...

Be well, and keep writing about whatever is on your mind -- past and present!

And -- if you need a new TV series to Netflix, have you watched "the Wire"? Best show EVER! Watch it now, while you have the time!

The Big Girl Blog! said...

Can't Wait!

Although I was cool with the other subject matter as well... :-)

Michele said...

I too liked your stories about wine guy. I've grown to feel like I know you guys ... even though I haven't have time to read anyone's blog in so long. I'm trying to get back in gear so please don't stop telling us your stories : )

Anonymous said...

I am in full agreement with Anonymous' "nudge" theory. I have yet to meet or observe a man who hasn't had to be pushed by his woman in one direction or another when it comes to big life decisions..marriage, baby, etc..

Tasha said...

I enjoy the Wine Guy stories, but I'm sure you have some good dating stories that we can all relate to as well. You keep it real on your blog and that's why I enjoy it so much. Every relationship has some problems. Don't let anyone influence what you write. It's your blog, write what you want. I'll keep reading! :-)

Anonymous said...

You write well, so I'll continue reading whether it's WG or old relationship stories. But I join the group who likes hearing about WG - we all go through these same issues or completely analogous ones, and it's good to read someone who has an interesting voice discuss them.

And I'm glad you're back to posting!

P.S. My good girl friend, who is the maid of honor at a wedding this weekend, has no idea what goes on at a bridal shower. It's not just a guy thing.

Anonymous said...

I found your site a few days ago and am now going back and reading all of the older posts. All I can say is, "I'm right there with you!"

The abadonment issues you write about and their manifestation in your relationships--SAME HERE. Please keep writing. I'm a relationship now and am realizing that I need to get grip on my problems before I cost through the remainder of my adult life sabotaging relationships and letting my neurotic tendancies pervade my thoughts on a constant basis. Just finding this blog, reading about your adventures and your issues has helped me tremendously right now. Just knowing something else is trying to make their way through these issues makes me feel a bit better... KEEP IT UP!