Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

February 20, 2009

Whine Country

Wine Guy and I are stopped half way up to Central California wine country, where we are spending a long weekend. We're taking a break for the night in lovely Carpinteria and here I am holed up in the Holiday Inn Express (free Internet - woo hoo!) while WG is taking a shower.

We're fighting. And it's all my fault. I'm just being a whiny, argumentative little bitch.

The problem is, I have no idea why.

Yes, he is annoying me beyond belief. God I hope it's normal for your significant other to drive you so crazy sometimes you want to scream until he goes up into a puff of smoke. The endless circling of the parking lot, slowly scoping out his options while spot after spot rolls by. The nervous driving the moment we hit the Los Angeles county line, as if suddenly everyone is out to kill us.

OK, these are driving related annoyances and I believe they are pretty common with couples. But it still doesn't explain why, once we got to our hotel room, I continued to want to kill him. He has no idea what the f*ck is going on. Neither do I.

I'd blame it on PMS - which I do get pretty bad sometimes - except I have my period right now and it's winding down.

If I'm honest with myself, I've been feeling this extreme level of irritation at just about everyone close to me, especially WG and my mom, with occassional close friends and unsuspecting coworkers thrown in.

Before you tell me to get to a shrink, I assure you I am already there. And what we've figured out - and this sounds like such a cop out but I think, after my behavior tonight, it has to be true - that I am just highly anxious about the upcoming surgery and it is tainting everything else around me. It just feels like something is "wrong" all the time. So it must be the way Wine Guy is treating me. Or it must be the tone my mom is taking with me. Or it must be that I am on the wrong career path. Or it must be...whatever.

Strange since, just a few weeks ago, everything seemed pretty darn was fine.

So I have to decide to chalk it all up to pre-surgery anxiety. Who knew that having my hip bone cut, shifted into a new position, and pinned back together would be something that would make me nervous?

Bear with me people. Especially those who have to love me, OK?



Loverville said...

Right before you mentioned the upcoming surgery, I started to think that that's what it has to be.

Hang in there... just keep in mind, this will pass, and soon you'll have a shiny new hip.

When is the Hip-ster Shower?

lizriz said...

That makes sense to me. Hang in there!

My prescription: Red, red wine. :)

Googmeister said...

I think that you are under a lot of stress, and I know that I would be a total nightmare to live with before surgery. I hope that you feel better soon and enjoy your hip shower.