All that bitching about not having a baby and I neglected to mention how my "stand-in baby" - my dog Luna - is benefiting from my raging maternal instincts. Actually, some of you might say she wasn't "benefiting" at all, but rather suffering immense humiliation under my pathetic attempt have some sort of child-ish Halloween without a child. But you would be wrong.
As I mentioned in my comment on Mimi's most recent post, Halloween allows us the freedom to be someone else. To behave differently and outside the "norms" of societal expectations. That is why it is my favorite holiday. Every year I go downtown, which is normally the most annoying place on earth (think "bridge and tunnel" crowd for you New Yorkers), and participated in the informal costume parade. This is the one time of year when you can say just about anything you want to just about anyone.
"Hey, you look ridiculous!"
"Oh my God, that is the funniest outfit I've ever seen!"
"Sarah Palin, you SUCK!"
Total, complete freedom. Plus alcohol. Fun, fun.
But this year I have a dog, so I took it to the next level.
Because I live in an extremely dog-friendly part of town, there was of course a dog costume carnival last weekend. I ask you, how could I not participate?
Actually, the dog costume idea came before I even knew such a carnival existed. But I would have taken Luna out in public just for the hell of it anyway.
Because she is a mutt, she looks like lots of breeds depending on the day. But one I frequently hear is that she looks like a coyote, a fox or a wolf. What better costume than "A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing?"
I had the vision in my head but no idea how to execute it. Luckily I found the perfect thing at JoAnne's Fabrics, organic bamboo fiber that you can pull off in pieces, bunch into a ball and easily glue right onto a cotton t-shirt with spray adhesive. I did just that and created a little headpiece also. When I put the whole ensemble on her I couldn't believe how absolutely perfect it looked.
I was hoping my friend Mendoza Line would come with me to the carnival since she is as animal crazy as I am. But she wasn't feeling up to it so I dragged along Wine Guy and my mom, none of us knowing what to expect.
When we got there, I took Luna out of the car and Wine Guy and I dressed her. I was simply not prepared for the reaction we were going to get when we walked down the block and into the street fair.
We were the center of attention. People pointing, laughing, asking me questions. I instantly couldn't find Wine Guy or my mom and found myself trying to take on the crowd on my own. Then a photographer from the local daily paper started taking pictures (we didn't make the cut, but we did show up in the paper's online video of the event) and a German TV crew started interviewing me.
Apparently the costume was very convincing. So much so that one lady came up to me and tentatively asked, "What's wrong with your sheep?" I had to tell her, "Uh, it's a dog lady."
Thank God Luna is cool as a cucumber because if she had been acting up I would have not been able to handle the craziness. In fact, she is probably giving me a very wrong impression of what having a child would be like since she never once "complained" or made a fuss over wearing a sheep's outfit for five straight hours.
It took most of the afternoon for us to take part in the parade and find out that we won a prize for best "incognito" costume. A certificate and $5 gift certificate to a local ice cream shop. Was it worth it? Considering the fact that I've looked at the pictures every single day since and shown them to everyone I know, hell yes. Will I do it next year? Do you even have to ask?
*Note that Luna is smiling directly at the camera. A star is born.