Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

October 2, 2008

Doggie Valedictorian

I normally only write when I have something specific to say, but I can't stand knowing that such an negative-sounding post is still "headlining" my blog (see previous post for a real downer). So I am here purely to write something - anything - to bury it a little. Actually, I'm here to tell you that Mimi was right, I was definitely PMSing. I hate that excuse as much as you, but sometimes it really is true.

Not that there aren't problems. But I always seem to forget that EVERY relationship has problems. I am somehow very good at convincing myself that everyone else is perfectly happy in their relationships and because Wine Guy and I have some bad days (sometimes a few in a row), we are one big train wreck. Usually it takes opening up to some freinds, or even just listening to other's stories, to remind me that this is some ridiculous fiction I've created in my head. No matter how many times I have this realization though, I always manage to forget it. Oh well, better late then never. Again.

So I'm here to say that things are much better these days. However, Wine Guy and I are both well aware of the areas we need to work on and we seem willing to do the work to get there. That's about all you can ask for.

I will also tell you that we are one week away from our dog's "graduation" from obedience school. She has been a star student, just like her geeky mom. And of course I like to think that everyone in class wishes they had a perfect little mutt like Luna. She's learned every trick they could teach us and I couldn't be happier watching Wine Guy practicing with her at home. As much as he bitches and moans about her during his ceaseless teasing, he obviously loves her and is willing to do what it takes to make her a happy pet. I like to think that means he'll do the same for me and what will hopefully become our family.

And every once in a while we have these moments when I realize, holy shit, we ARE a family. We have our own language. Our own inside jokes. Our own rituals. Just the three of us.

Last night Wine Guy was teasing the dog by throwing a light blanket over her and watching her try to get out. Of course I protested the whole time telling him to stop. Eventually he threw the blanket over the dog and me, and then climbed under himself. There we were, the three of us huddled under the blanket, snuggling and laughing, showing Luna that it's not so bad under the blanket after all. I think, my friends, that is a family. Right?

And then he ruins it by telling me (for the 4th time in the last hour) the joke he insists he's going to tell at dog graduation next week when he thanks the instructors. It goes something like this, "I want to thank you both. I can't tell you how long I've always wanted a bitch who will go down on command."

Sigh. We can't have it all I guess.



mimi of 'sexagenarian and the city' said...

okay so here i am in a basement in london w. free internet access laughing outloud at wg's dumb joke and thereby attracting the attention of all the other internet-users who wonder why i burst out laughing.

now about PMS: when i was in my 20s & early 30s i used to get very angry at Everything 'periodically' and then very happy and light a few days later...only when i was trying to conceive, a few years later, and keeping temperature charts, did i see in unmistakably clear visible signs how much my moods were driven by my hormones. when i saw those charts, the up and down zigzags, i suddenly felt that Now i understood myself and the ways my moods had fluctuated dramatically for years & years.

you know what?

it might help you if You kept a temperature chart: here's how you do it. simply take your temp every morning BEFORE YOU ARISE -- don't stand up or drink anything -- just have a thermo by the bed, a quick one, and take your temp every morning for a couple of months. obviously keep pen and paper there too, and graph the temps. you'll then see in astonishing visible form how your moods are hormone-driven. and i bet that will help you in the down times to realize that you are just temporarily 'possessed' and will soon feel better.

and you'll see how when the graph suddenly drops down, the temp lowers, how you're happy again.

that's just the way it works....

i really recommend that; it's cheaper than a therapist and is very comforting.

and someday, when you want to add to your family w. a new human [as distinct from canine], you'll know when to give it a try.

xx mimi in london.

Sonny Amou said...

Two words: Bed Fort!

Dawn said...

They say that on one hand, there are people in relationships and miserable. On the other, there are people out of relationships and miserable. Nobody is perfectly happy all the time, that's for sure. As long as you get those under the blanket moments!

I thought this post was really touching.