Hard to believe it, but I’ve been going out with Wine Guy for almost a year and a half and he and Only Child have yet to meet. Granted, I don’t see OC all that much and we only talk every month or so, but meeting and moving in with Wine Guy is the first major development in my life that he hasn’t had any part in since we first met in 1999, and it feels kind of strange.
Wine Guy and I are “unconventional” when it comes to our exes. I know people cringe when they hear how he and I have Ex-Wine Gal over for dinner just about every week. Or how she regularly calls him for career advice, or how they’ll gab on and on and on and on (infinity) about wine to the point where I’m hungover just listening to them.
Yes, I get jealous, but not romantically. Their relationship was more one of friendship than romance, so I have no fear that something would happen with them along those lines. My jealousy has actually only emerged since we moved in together and it revolves around what they have in common (gourmet food and wine) and how I feel like an outsider when they talk about it. Not that I don’t enjoy good food and wine. I just refuse to dedicate excessive amounts of brain space to all theknitty gritty details required to make one a “foodie” versus a regular run-of-the-mill face-stuffer like me.
And, yes, I do get kind of pissed when Wine Guy excitedly calls me asking if I want to go to dinner tonight at the latest new restaurant with him and Ex-Wine Gal. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy her company and she is nice as can be. And I know he probablywouldn’t go if I said I couldn’t make it – he wants to experience it with me. What pisses me off is that I know that he wants to go so badly because she suggested it - he values her opinion on these matters that much. But if I had asked him to go to that very same place without any prodding from Ex, I can almost guarantee you that WG would say, “well, I’d rather work tonight,” or “I don’t want to spend the money.” But because she has an opinion about food that he respects, he jumps on it with rare enthusiasm.
That. Pisses. Me. Off.
And I’m not anyone you want to be around when I 'm pissed off. I sulk. I make snide comments. I zone out of the conversation. I take an extra long time in the bathroom. In general, I’m an immature bitch. Nobody wins.
And, yes, this is causing Wine Guy and me the tension you would expect. See why I haven’t written much lately? Who wants to hear about these lame problems? Okay, maybe you do. But, see, Ex-Wine Gal reads this blog from time to time and I haven’t wanted to put my feelings on this matter out there for her consideration. But to hell with it. She’s not the one I have the problem with anyway.
When it comes to Only Child, Wine guy seems 100% uninterested. From what I understand about men, they generally want nothing to do with knowledge about their girlfriend’s past, while women want to gather every piece of information they possibly can to understand what level of competition (real or imagined) they are up against. Did you say I love you to her? How often did you have sex? Why did you break up? All those fun little details.
Whether or not he wants to hear it, I tend to bring up Only Child occasionally anyway. Not to bother him really but because, well, we were together for 6 years so there is bound to be a relevant story involving him every so often. Why should I refrain from sharing it just because of the Ex Factor?
When I do get the chance to see Only Child, we usually meet for dinner, usually on a night that Wine Guy is busy. But I haven’t seen him since we moved in together and am eager forOC to see the new place, meet the new dog, see our old cat (AppleButt, who lived with OC and me for awhile before I moved out) and generally understand my life as it is now. Just like I want all my friends to do. But since it’s not just MY place but OUR place to show, I realize the time for Wine Guy and Only Child to meet is, indeed , now.
Tonight, my friends, my worlds collide.
My gut has always told me that they will get along. Possibly even like each other. They are both smart, into photography (and all the gadgetry that goes along with it), like to talk about politics (soapboxes included), and enjoy food and wine (thoughOC is not as verbal about it). So on paper they should gel. But the paper doesn ’t record all that other mushy stuff in between likes and dislikes, so who the hell knows what kind of mess we’ll end up with. Actually, I’m sure it will be civil, perhaps enjoyable. But God, I hope either (or both) of them don’t end up thinking, “What the hell was she thinking falling in love with him?”