I'm taking a step away from the relationship dramas that keep my mind busy during the day to focus on something larger today. Is it just me or does it feel like the world is ailing? From entire countries (China and Myanmar), to cities (tornado stricken towns throughout the Midwest), to institutions (greedy investment banks that fueled this credit crisis), to individuals (the many people I know or friends of friends who are battling various forms of cancer)....everything seems just "off."
I have struggled on and off with mild depression over the years, so I've been thinking that I've just been in bit of a downward spiral that existed only in mind. But after reading an email that I received tonight from a friend about another tragic story of cancer striking someone far too soon, I realize that this is not my mind playing chemical tricks on me. I only wish that was the case. Unfortunately, things just really do suck right now.
I know, I know. In the scope of history, I'm sure there have been many times when people thought, "This is as bad as the world has ever been. Surely the end is near." So perhaps this is just a blip that will be swallowed up by centuries to come. But does that really matter? All we have is the here and now and the here right now is sinking, sick, burdened with something that seems to only get worse.
I realize that I tend to take on the weight of the world, as if there was anything I could do to fix these kinds of problems. So I try very hard to only work on controlling the things within my actual power. But when those uncontrollable things start piling up, it is just plain impossible not to feel that burden.
What can I do? What can any of us do?
When I start feeling really low and helpless, I try to envision myself hanging at the end of a long, thick rope that swings slowly over a dark abyss. I can't control the abyss. I can't control the rope. But I can control how hard I grip it as it swings back and forth, back and forth. It has to stop eventually, right?
So here I am, swinging. Here we all are swinging. I guess all we can do is hold on for now. And keep looking up.