Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

February 21, 2008

Man Repellant

Last night I returned to where it all began with Wine Guy ten months ago - a singles wine tasting night at a local wine bar. I went with Mendoza Line and Bubbly, another single friend (who is, yes, very bubbly in personality). Contrary to WG's teasing, I did not go to scope out the men and see if I could find anything better (quote from WG: "You're going to see that it's a buyer's market"). Nope, I went for the female companionship and -if I want to be totally honest - the free food (of which there was plenty).

I have to admit that it was a bit surreal to be at a singles event and not be "on the prowl." In fact, I just couldn't separate myself from the experience I'd grown so familiar with over the years. When we first arrived, I was the one spending a few minutes thinking through where we should sit that would be most advantageous for engaging the often timid men in conversation (turns out I was dead wrong - shocker!).
Though I put my back to the entrance so the eligible men would see my beautiful friends first, I still spent most of the time at the table peering around the room trying to strategize. I even went so far as to use my crutches as an excuse and asked Mendoza to get my glass of wine for me so she would mingle (yes, I'm a bit of a yenta).

I was impressed with the turnout, especially since the last time I was there it was about 90% women. This time the place was teeming with well-dressed men of all types. There were a few that really stood out, but I was hardly tempted. Something about their "peacock" shirts and overly self-conscious strutting made me long for my torn t-shirt wearing boyfriend who was probably sitting at his computer just a few minutes drive from here.

After two hours of catching up with my friends and sipping wine, we still hadn't talked to one man. Wait, I'm wrong. Bubbly chatted up a guy while waiting in line for wine but returned empty handed (well, she had her wine but no man).

I had a feeling that I was to blame for this man drought. Although my intentions were to be the wing girl and help my friends out, I suspected that my "I'm not really single" vibe was spraying some sort of man repellant all over the table. I'm sure the sexy "I just had hip surgery" crutches didn't help either.

So I decided to head home and hoped Mendoza and Bubbly would not follow my lead. I was relieved when they both decided to stay for another drink and I hobbled my man repellant ass outta there.

I was feeling a little out of sorts from the experience, so I decided to stop by WG's place on the way home just as a little reminder. As I suspected, he on the computer working on the website that he hopes to launch as his own business in the next year. He'd been really struggling with it since I met him, but in the last two weeks he found the inspiration he'd been looking for and is finally getting it off the ground. He was clearly buzzed with excitement. Even though I came to him hoping for some cuddling and romance, I could see he was in full on computer geek mode and wanted to talk. So I let him spout computer speak at me (none of which I understood) and tell me all about his ideas for the next hour.

If you recall, he's been a bit down lately, so even though I didn't understand most of what he was saying, I was thrilled to see him so excited and inspired. I guess in the relationship world, that is another form of romance isn't it? Seeing the person you love happy.

I headed home about two hours later and as I walked in my apartment I got a text from Mendoza telling me that she gave a guy her number! Smiling, I called her back within seconds demanding details. Soon after I left the bar, a handsome man approached her and said in a French accent, "I had to come over and talk to you because I think you are quite attractive." Direct, to the point and they hit it off. She also informed me that Bubbly resumed her conversation with the guy from the line and that by the time Mendoza decided to leave, they were still heavy in conversation.

So apparently my man repellant theory might hold a little water, eh? Perhaps I will leave the singles nights to the single girls and spare them my bad man vibes. It's weird to think that I'm "not single" because I've learned my lesson in the past not to count the chickens too soon. But I guess that's where a little faith and a lot of love come in to play.

Let's send some positive dating vibes (in French perhaps?) to Mendoza Line and Bubbly!



Mendoza Line said...

Awww, I sure did enjoy re-reading your first WG-inspired post. So good to know how the relationship has developed. :)

I also enjoyed this quote from your text: "Goddammit, online dating is so fundamentally unnatural." Ahem.

J'ai re├žu un message textuel de Frenchie !

Michele said...

How fun and cool would it be if both of your friends ended up with boyfriends from the very same wine tasting where you and WG first met? What a great story.

Bubbly said...

Would you chat up someone for two hours at a singles event that you were not interested in? I don't know maybe my "bubbly" personality gives off the "hey, don't ask me for my phone number vibe". So yes, I did go home only after giving out my digits...but only because I think I pretty much offered them up (aka wine talking)...not because guy I met in the line to get a refill on my wine asked for them. Chances of a call…I am going with slim. Welcome to my world of dating!

a&v said...

Oh, this sounds like just the sort of event I attend--and quite frequently. I think I also have that man repellent and I don't even have a boyfriend! In my case, I think it's shyness masquerading as Statuesque Ice Queen. Scary! (Under those circumstances, I'm not sure I'd approach me!)

But in your case, I'm sure your single friends love having you around, so no need to disappear entirely!

Loverville said...

You wrote: "I guess in the relationship world, that is another form of romance isn't it? Seeing the person you love happy."

Wow. That genuinely got me a bit misty-eyed! I've been feeling flirty / flighty lately, but at the end of the day, I know for sure that I want to find someone to fall in love with. (must put tough exterior shell back on!)

DT, I've truly enjoyed reading about the progress of your relationship with WG! It gives me hope.

ML / Bubbly: Bonne chance!

Trish Ryan said...

It's a weird transition, isn't it? It took me about a year to realize that I didn't have to strategize anymore. And I love your quote about seeing WG happy :)