Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

January 13, 2008

Check Your Dignity At the Door

I wasn't sure how to open this entry, my first since I signed off before the surgery last week. But then my mom made it easy for me a few seconds ago with this question shouted from across the house so Wine Guy and I could hear,
"How's the pooping situation?"

Ah yes, Check your dignity at the door.

Today is the first day since my surgery (Jan 7) that I haven't wanted to die. This whole thing has been much worse than I ever could have imagined. And it wasn't because anything went wrong. In fact, if you asked the doctor, he would probably tell you it all went pretty smoothly. I just had no idea how awful hospitals are resting, sleeping and healing. Kind of ironic, huh? I think I was paired with every moaning, semi-hallucinating, explosive-diarrhea-making old woman who needed a hospital bed. Sleep was not had. Plus the anaesthesia made me terribly nauseous all the way through until just last night so eating was not happening either. And the fact that I can do ANYTHING for myself is frustrating for me and my caretakers I'm sure.

The good news is that I have terrific caretakers - my mom and Wine Guy - who have been so amazing that it makes me teary just thinking of it. They have worked together and separately to keep me afloat and I love them for it. WG has even stayed over at my mom's with me these last two nights and it's like having -- I guess they call it family -- by your side for those trying hours in the middle of the night when you need to pee, feel like bone is poking through your skin, and you can't get to your walker (yes, walker,) on your own. Speaking of my pimping form of transportation (won't be moving to crutches for a few more weeks) WG has "tricked it out" with colorful and necessary cushioning on the handles so now I'm looking stylish among the granny crowd.

I won't horrify you with too much more detail, plus typing on Percocet is a challenge to say the least. (It has provided me with a few interesting hallucinations though, mostly in the form of dogs, cats and other creatures that aren't really there darting around the hospital/bedroom. Strange.) But I was eager to get on here the moment I could to thank you all so much for your e-support, words of encouragement and concern. It has meant a lot to me. I look forward to catching up on what's been going on in your lives and hope to have more entertaining stories to tell you in the weeks ahead that hopefully won't have anything to do with poop, scars, bloating, or poop - did I say that already? My mom just asked how her Gatorade/Metamucil concoction tasted so it's on my mind :-)

Thank you all. Dismissed.


Sonny Amou said...

Glad to have you back Trooper. If you need any miscellaneous errands done, let me know. I'm a cell call away. Also, the hot tub in my building seats about 12 people, and while now isn't necessarily the time to schedule it, perhaps when you're more mobile I can let you in the building and you and Wine Guy can use it.

Off to lunch with my sheila. I just noticed this so thought I'd give you a shout out.

Nicole said...

Was a pleasant surprise to see you back on my Google Reader! Was wondering how everything went.

Great to hear that Wine Guy is helping out too. When DH and I first met, I was diagnosed with severe atypical pneumonia. We attended colleges a few hours apart, so it was a real pick-me-up when he would show up to take care of me... every day for three weeks. That's pretty much when I knew I was going to end up marrying him. (No pressure to you and WG though! hehe). Just seems that if someone sticks with you when you're feeling, looking and probably acting your worst... well, they're pretty much in for the long haul.

Hoping for a safe and healthy recovery!

Loverville said...

Once again... love that guy! Your mom is pretty fab too, but you knew that already.

Hope this makes you smile: your writing is still witty and fun to read, even if you're doped up on Percoset!

Hang in there!

a&v said...

It's good to see you in this space! Wine Guy just sounds awesomer and awesomer. I'm so glad he's there for you! Wishing you a speedy recovery...

Samantha said...

I am SO glad to hear that you are pulling through ok. And it made me teary to hear how great WG and your mom are helping you out. You are going to get through this wonderfully with that kind of love and support. :)

mimi of sexagenarian and the city said...

welcome back to the blogosphere, dt. wonderful to have you back, tho i'm very sorry things have been so awful and unpleasant and painful. but you have WG and yr mother --- really good. keep writing. if i knew who you really were, i would have sent you flowers...but failing that, i send lots of good wishes and joy that your recovery is at least beginning. write the word poop with two smiley-faces for o's -- that's what sexagenarians do.

The City Gal said...

Glad to hear you are back :) and in capable hands.

when you get a chance, check this blog readability test! Not that it is accurate, but really interesting:

Yellow Blade said...

Với các dịch vụ vận chuyển, ship hàng toàn quốc mà chúng tôi đang cung cấp. Đảm bảo sẽ phục vụ nhu cầu Tết cũng như nhu cầu vận chuyển hằng ngày của quý khách hàng. Cụ thể chúng tôi sẽ cung cấp dịch vụ chuyển quà tết. Chúng tôi sẽ giúp bạn với dịch vụ vận chuyển hàng hóa trong nước giá rẻ sẽ chuyển hàng đến tay người thân, bạn bè ở xa một cách nhanh chóng nhất. Đảm bảo giá cả hợp lý chất lượng dịch vụ tuyệt vời. Ngoài ra chúng tôi còn cung cấp nhiều dịch vụ khác như dịch vụ ship hàng cod, giao hàng cho shop, chuyển phát nhanh giá rẻ trong nước,... Nếu cần chuyển hàng hãy nhớ liên hệ với chúng tôi nhé.