Is it working? I'm not quite sure. I can't tell if it's it a good or bad sign that during this, our first work session, I'm here writing a blog entry. True, the project I'm working on is related to this blog, but it's supposed to be something other than this blog. However, I will not concede that I'm cheating just yet. I originally got on the computer to begin my first assignment - researching what kind of dating books are out there.One quick search of the word "dating" on Amazon and I was immediately reminded why I call this whole damn thing "warfare" and was inspired to share what I found with my fellow Troopers.
Yes, I have said here that in my warfare analogy, men are not necessarily the enemy, women are not the heroes. It is the situation that makes it warfare, at least for the average person. But after reading the list of books Amazon gave me, I think I might have to revise that original statement just a bit. See for yourself. Here's a selection of titles I found in my first 5 minutes of searching. I won't dignify them with links so if you really want to get more info, you can search them on your own:
- The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
- Seduce Me! What Women Really Want
- The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible No Matter What You Look Like or How Much You Make
- Understanding Women: The Definitive Guide to Meeting, Dating and Dumping, if Necessary (written by a woman no less)
- The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide - How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho
All of these sound absolutely horrific. And, frankly, if I were a man I would be terribly offended that these authors think men can be reduced to nothing but creeps looking for a warm hole to stick their penises (peni?) in (sorry, but this is the image I get when I think of the men who by these books).
I'm sad to say that one of Wine Guy's good friends -- let's call him Kansas Cad -- has become somewhat of a devotee of "The Game" (the first book listed above). He's a good looking, smart, successful guy and I have no idea why he would even need help in the dating department. I can't tell if he really does have trouble getting women and is desperate enough to take any advice he can get, or that he is kind of misogynistic and finds it funny to think of women as "targets" just waiting to be plotted against and seized (this book refers to women as "targets" -really). I suspect the answer is somewhere in the middle - that he's basically immature and hasn't quite gotten past the "catch and kiss" style of elementary school dating. Perhaps he spent too many Kansas winters in his basement playing war games with his dorky friends and not enough time at the school dances learning how to actually talk to girls.
Before I got upset enough to storm into Wine Guy's office just so I could punch him for even being a man, I decided to turn my search to dating books aimed at women. Unfortunately, what I found was even more repulsive - and certainly more offensive:
- Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man
- Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
- Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got (yes, by Dr. Phil. Admit it. How many of you guys knew that already?)
- Make Every Man Want You (or Make Yours Want You More): How To Be So Damn Irresistible You'll Barely Keep From Dating Yourself!
- Dating, Inc.: Recruit, Select, and Retain the Right Man for the Relationship
A few more button clicks and I was able to find some books that should be scary to just about everyone, regardless of gender:
Books by Dr. Henry Cloud with titles like, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping and Boundaries in Dating Participant's Guide (described as "...a wise, biblical path to developing self-control, freedom, and intimacy in the dating process").
And, of course, anything authored by Dr. Neil (e-Harmony) Clark Warren such as Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less and Finding the Love of Your Life: Ten Principles for Choosing the Right Marriage Partner.
Then there's this one that I'm not quite sure what to make of at all - Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. I have to admit, I have noticed that a lot of men tend to go for "bitches." But when I say "bitch" I mean it in the game playing, annoying, overly girly-girl, passive-aggressive way. It never occurred to me that "holding your own" in dating makes you a "bitch." Is that how men see it? No freakin' wonder I'm not married.
I did find a few titles that gave me a little hope - or at least a genuine smile.
- The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater
- I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating
- Dating, Mating, and Manhandling: The Ornithological Guide to Men
And then there was this one that just plain summed up the entire dating experience:
- Dead End Dating: A Novel of Vampire Love
Not that I'm buying any of them, I promise.
But if you have, I would love to hear your thoughts or, even better, your reviews. Even if you didn't really buy it, just accidentally "flipped through" it while browsing at the bookstore. (yeah, right).