The three month mark with Wine Guy looms…it arrives tomorrow in fact. You know, that magic number when your relationship either picks up steam or dies on the vine. Not quite sure why that is but I can tell you that it seems to be a universal phenomenon among the many fellow Troopers I’ve surveyed.
When I told my cousin about the recent downward spiral Wine Guy and I seemed to have hit (see previous entry) which, for the moment, has slowed to what I hope is a permanent stop, she said, “It sounds like you are just coming out of fantasy land and realizing that he is not perfect - nobody is. The next step is to decide if the things that are bugging you are ones you can live with or if they are so freakin’ annoying that you must dump him immediately.”
That’s putting it rather simplistically, but a good question nevertheless.
So far, I can live with whatever imperfections I may have discovered about Wine Guy. I have no idea whether or not he feels he can live with mine. I mean, sometimes I can barely live with mine, so I can’t imagine another guy willingly doing so. But I guess that’s the neurotic Jew in me….sadly, sometimes the old Woody Allen (?) saying “I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member” does apply to me.
Perhaps I should be worrying less about potential loss of emotional interest and more about the deflation of sexual interest? Actually that part is going pretty well overall, but I will say that as regular life creeps in (money issues, family, jobs, etc), it gets a little bit harder to find the time. Once we first got physical, it seemed like our full time jobs were to be together and gaze into each other’s eyes between passionate kisses. We found time for nothing else. But eventually, the bills got paid late, the laundry piled up, the waistlines got bigger while the gym memberships were used less, and the list of unreturned phone calls grew longer. At some point we had to start re-engaging in our lives and, as a result, some of that intimacy had to be scaled down. But, all in all, it’s pretty darn good.
Except for last night when I was basically rejected for a re-run of America’s Funniest Home Videos.
Before I get into this little story, let me state that I did get Wine Guy’s permission to share it here (this might be important to note for all of you participating in the Loverville-inspired debate about telling your dates about your blog).
OK, so last night we had a rare evening of just hanging out around my place with nothing to do except little chores. I cleaned (he loaned me his Dyson vacuum – holy crap is that thing amazing!) while he read my new Vanity Fair. When I was done, we lounged on the couch while I suffered through his unbelievably terrible channel surfing. (Thank God we rarely watch TV together because he is by far the worst channel surfer I’ve ever dated - another entry entirely, perhaps coming soon). Anyway, he lands on AFV (the new "hip" abbreviated title, like KFC) and, as anyone whose ever watched this show clearly knows, hilarity quickly ensues.
I love contradictions in people. I certainly possess many of them myself, and Wine Guy’s contradictions continue to surprise me. At first I thought he was Mr. Highbrow Culture – lover of fine wine and a gourmet cook, ultra-left politically, super feminist, etc. Then he morphed into Mr. New Age – former vegan (former being the important part for me, a meat eater), astrologer, wears Birkenstocks on occasion. Now I’m being introduced to Mr. Lowbrow Culture – loves AFV, eats Taco Bell regularly and burps far more –and far louder –than I would prefer. He really is ALL of these people rolled up into one. And that’s what makes him interesting.
So, last night, I got a little frisky after a few glasses of wine and started kissing him while wearing a little, red cotton nightie. The reaction I got was sort of a tentative hand on my butt and a weird, sideways kiss as he craned his neck to try to see over my shoulder. When a guy (my guy) passes up a nightie-clad frisky girl for some grainy home footage circa 1999 of a cat going ballistic on its owners…well, that could be a sign of a major problem, right?
To his credit, TV is a rare treat for Wine Guy (he does not have cable at home). And as a very recently reformed TV junkie, I can certainly relate a little to his behavior. So I let him have his few minutes of stupid laughs (OK, I laughed a little too, but only at animal footage – nothing that involves human injury is funny to me) before I began to mercilessly mock him for choosing terrible TV over me. He took it well and when I jokingly threatened to “out" him for it in my blog, he actually told me to go for it (God, I hope he wasn’t kidding!). So I let him off the hook and made sure he made up for it later (wink, wink).
I guess I’ve discovered one more layer to Wine Guy. Happy 3 month Anniversary to us!