Note: The "Trooper" in question is not actually in the military. It's a metaphor, people.

May 23, 2007

Relationship Time Warp

So everything's basically terrific with Wine Guy. That dizzying blur of excitement peppered with anticipation, passion, relief. And now I feel myself stuck in some bizarre sort of time warp. See if this sounds familiar.

Time is excruciatingly slow during the period of hours, days between when you will see each other. It feels like everything revolves around waiting.

But when you are together, time is whiplash fast. You start kissing at 9pm and the next thing you know its 1am and you have to force yourself to go to sleep so you can be slightly productive at work the next day (which, of course, will drag by).

Then there's the past/future conundrum. All you can think about, talk about are the myriad things you want to do together. Hikes, movies you've seen that he hasn't (but must), weekend trips, restaurants...the list never ends and the future is laid out before you like one big Christmas wish list.

But that damn past creeps in too. Wounds that resurface from past relationships, or exes who are still a presence in your life. Wine Guy and I both have the latter (so far it seems only I have the wound part, which he does know about).

I'm not the jealous type, especially when I'm 99.9% confident in Wine Guy's feelings for me. Nevertheless, his ex of four years (and former cohabitant) is a presence, a friend in fact. I am pretty sure I will meet her tonight as she is part of his regular group of wine enthusiasts who attend a Wednesday night tasting.

I'm nervous, but mostly because I feel like I relate more to her perspective than my own. I am much more familiar with being the Ex who poses no actual threat but knows her existence kind of bothers the current girlfriend. I'm very rarely the current girlfriend. Of course, I would be an absolute hypocrite to be upset, since Only Child and I remain friends. However, Only Child and I are not at all entwined in each other's current lives. We speak once a month and see each other even less frequently for catch up sushi dinners (what else?). There is nothing threatening about it (at least from my perspective, not sure if Only Child's girlfriend would agree).

But Ex-Wine Gal and Wine Guy see each other at least once a week, and I won't even get into the fact that a lot of her stuff is still in his place. See? Nothing's perfect. But it feels pretty damn close - for the moment.


Loverville said...

Just keep in mind -- an ex is an ex for a reason.

Saying that -- one of my exes (from about 10 years ago) is one of my best friends today. NO chance in hell of ever getting back together, but I adore him as the good friend that he is.

Wine Guy still has some of her stuff at his place? Yeah, that's a bit strange, but sounds like it's no cause for concern.

Land Mines said...

I have to agree with Loverville: an ex is an ex for a reason.

He seems into you and you into him. Keep enjoying yourself!

But since the ex sees him so often he should start bringing her a little of her stuff each time he sees her.

About Melissa said...

Yes, we're all adults. Everyone's hunky-dory with everything and we're all good friends and everyone is sooo PC. Blah, blah, blah....

Get her shit out! Her stuff needs to go back to live with it's mommy. There's no reason for it to live at his house, anymore. I think a little healthy jealous is good (and honest) in a relationship. But that's just me... (love ya)

bailey said...

sounds pretty darn close to perfect to me :)