Although she enjoyed the gifts, flowers and a scrumptious dim sum brunch, I think the gift my mom most enjoyed on Mother's Day was the information about my weekend with Wine Guy. If you haven't figured it out yet, my mom and I have a rather non-traditional mother-daughter relationship. Yes, we fight (just ask Mendoza who was there to witness a typical spat) and she drives me crazy just like any mother, but we can also talk about a whole suite of subjects most of my friends can't even imagine bringing up with their mom's sitting in the next room.
I can pretty confidently say that I might be the only girl who's mother tried to peer pressure her into losing her virginity. I held onto it a little longer than most (19) and when I was dating some guy for only two weeks I distinctly recall her telling me, "Oh, just have a glass of wine, relax, and do it already!" (I did not follow her advice and waited until I found a guy I actually liked). Now that I'm much less uptight and we've gotten the whole angry-at-my-mom thing out of the way from my 20s, our relationship is pretty solid and we talk about almost everything. She does read this blog, so I am no longer forced to give her (or any of my friends) the blow-by-blow on every disastrous date.
When I told her on the phone before we met on Sunday that I had written a new blog entry and it was the first one that directly talks about sex, her response was, "Well, I was wondering when that was going to come up," followed by a little giggle. That pretty much confirmed for me that my mom has been anxiously waiting for her daughter to get laid. Yes, I know. It is disturbing to me too.
We met a few hours later at the dim sum place (along with everyone else it seemed), and she immediately inquired about my evening with Wine Guy. Did my walls come down? (see previous entry if you don't know what I'm talking about). As we waited for the stressed out hostess to call our name (she wouldn't for over an hour), I told her that I did, in fact, go over to his place and, while there wasn't actual M.O.S. action (again, see previous entry), we did remove most of those walls and discovered we've got plenty of passion potential. My mom was clearly excited but, as I've trained her, was trying to hold back so I wouldn't think she was getting her hopes up (of course, this never works because, frankly, we both have our hopes up. But I still appreciate the effort).
My friend Mendoza was with us (my new surrogate sister) and I am pretty sure I detected a look of amused horror on her face at the fact that I was discussing this with my mother. Mendoza is from the Midwest and, based on what I've gathered from the conversations I've overheard her having with her parents, they generally stick to subjects that fall under the category of polite chit chat. I can't imagine what went through her mind when my mom turned to her enthusiastically and said, "So.....I assume you are Mendoza Line???!!! How exciting!" (again, see last blog).
So that's what happened. Wine Guy's apartment was lovely, his cat a total crack-up. We talked, went to dinner, came back and finally STOPPED talking. I made it clear there was no need to rush anything, but we both agreed that it was a relief to know that all that talking was actually serving as some sort of foreplay rather than just, well, talking. I'm sure he was oh so pleased when I said to him after a particularly passionate kiss, "Well, I guess I can stop accusing you of being gay then..." Did I tell you I always manage to say the wrong thing? Actually, he thought it was funny. God bless Wine Guy.
So, things are going well. In an earlier post, Loverville commented about how impressed she was with my staying so calm and level-headed about Wine Guy. Well, I can assure you that I am far less calm now that I've let my walls down. I like him a lot and he is, without a doubt, enthusiastic about me. But I'm scared. Of getting too intense, too connected, and too used to to having someone around again. I was just getting comfortable with being alone. But then again, I don't tell often tell myself how beautiful, amazing and "ebullient" I am, so he might be pretty darn good to have around.
Happy belated Mother's Day to all..