Not surprisingly, I can't find this sentence, or anything remotely like it. Overall my profile falls into the "normal but interesting" category. I have confirmed this with plenty of outside feedback as well, so it's not just my opinion.. So why then is nobody responding?
At first I thought it must be the pictures. So I informally surveyed a few friends and discovered that I might be better served by using a different, "sexier" photo as my primary.
I get it. Men are visual and need to be "lured" by their eyes right off the bat. No complaints from me. I switched pictures and waited for the responses to start rolling in. Like they did when I was 29.
So when THAT didn't happen, I noted the age thing. A large percentage of guys in my age range put their maximum cutoff age about 2 years below their own. Ridiculous. They won't even match their own age? Good God.
But most of the guys guilty of ignoring my emails claim to be looking for girls even a few years older than me. Are they lying in their own profiles? I don't see why they would, so I think I've ruled this reason out for the most part.
Then I think they just aren't getting my emails. Maybe I have some block set up on my account I don't know about. After some tooling around in my account settings, I see I'm in the clear and fully activated (this is especially important if I want to qualify for Match.com's "Get your second 6 months free if you don't find the love of your life in the first 6 months" guarantee that I'm bound to be in need of in a few short months.
Then I go to what I call the "Narcissism" page to see who's viewed my profile. It feels somewhat gratifying to see that my profile has been viewed 846 times. That is, until I see who's been looking. Old combover guys from places like Las Vegas and Beverly Hills. And greased up guys that email at least 10 different girls a day and begin every email with, "Hey beautiful," and misspell just about everything else after that. Then there's the serial killer looking guy from Oklahoma and the military guy from Virginia.
And then I see him - Mr. Wonderful. Nice smile, funny but sincere profile, over 6' tall and "spiritual but not religious." Maybe even throws in a well-chosen Seinfeld or Office Space quote. Everything I've been looking for.
But when I look a little closer at the profile, it seems oddly familiar. And then I realize. I emailed him already. And he never responded. This is what has happened 95% of the time (the other 5% is not worth going into I assure you).
So my uncanny skills of deduction lead me to this sad conclusion: He got the email. He read the email. He looked at my profile. He chose not to respond.
Whatever excuses that may fall in between these short sentences is irrelevant. He's dating someone. He isn't a Match. com member. His computer's broken. None of it matters because the one thing he didn't do was respond, not even with the most insincere form of rejection available at his disposal- the Match.com supplied "No Thank You"button. Even with this pathetic excuse for a reply, you can feel somewhat better knowing that your email registered on some small level to at least inspire him to make the terribly exhausting effort of hitting a button.
OK, I'm WAY over dramatizing. Actually I don't take it personally at all. It means nothing. It's on line dating for God's sake. So what if almost every woman (that I like anyway) admits she almost always hits the "No Thank you" button. Maybe not out of sympathy for the guy, but because she knows how much it sucks when someone does the same to her.
But who cares why? The fact is it is just laziness. Is it a gender thing? I won't go that far, but if this pattern continues I'm going to have to start applying those amazing deduction skills of mine and make some unflattering conclusions about the male species.
In the words of one fellow Trooper, "It's one Button, Dammit. Just push one Goddamn Button!"
Oh, the man update. I went on two dates in the last three days. One with a guy I met playing shuffleboard at a bar (a corral of wild animals?). Another with the Jewish Dr. of my mother's dreams. One was fine, the other better than fine but with an awkward ending (a handshake? really?!).
For those of you who don't know me personally, take note. The less I say about a guy after a date, the more I like him. So when you get a short update like the above, be suspicious. Another immediate clue that I like him is how many times I end a sentence about the guy with a "We'll see" and shrug of the shoulders intended to convey nonchalance but is really nothing but a load of crap.