Quick update from the battlefield:
I heard back from Rabbi M. and his response is the equivalent of getting shot in the ass by my own gun. Here it is...
"Hey there - hope you are good. First off - I suck and I am lame for not calling - I was up in LA all weekend - all is well. Second, I was thinking about our date- which was great. I think the smoking is a deal breaker for me, so I am sorry - you know I am honest and direct so wanted to tell you straight up. I would call now, but it may be late. Please take care..."
Let me set the record straight, the only reason my "smoking" came up on this date at all was because he freakin' ASKED me to tell him what my secret "bad girl" behavior was. If he didn't like the answer (and he seemed fine at the time when I explained my very occassional recreational smoking), then why would he ask? Perhaps he was expecting something like, "Every Saturday night I go to bed without flossing." Who knows. But I must admit I'm embarrassed. It' s about as bad as not getting a dream job because you took a few puffs that previous weekend. Stupid and a waste. I'd much rather reach Veteran status than giggle at something stupid and overeat once every few months. So here was my reply..I doubt I'll hear back.
"Thanks for the email. But this sucks. Mostly that the smoking even came up at all during the date because it's not at all a part of who I am or my regular life and something I would hate to get in the way of maybe going out with a potentially great guy. But, like you, I'm honest and direct (too much so sometimes) and you asked me what my "bad girl" thing was so I told you! I probably rambled on about it (too much wine plus I was nervous and on a conversation buzz) and wasn't reading you right at all. Stupid of me and I apologize if I made you uncomfortable.
I hate to think you think I'm some big pothead or something - because I'm actually a pretty good, responsible girl/woman. It is an easily deleted part of my life (and a very small one at that).There is so much more to me than this little leftover behavior from my college days...
But I suspect there might be more dealbreakers for you. However, if that really is the only one and you are thinking "too bad.. we could've had a good time." Then I ask that you take me at my word and give it another shot. If not, then oh well. Good luck to you too ... "
Oh, and something I forgot to mention previously. He brought be a beautiful bouquet of flowers on our first and only date. So I couldn't resist sharing this tidbit of information with him at the end of my email. Hey, gotta have the last word, right?
"p.s. I swear I'm not saying this to make you feel bad - it's actually kind of funny in hindsight, especially since you are likely going to blow me off anyway:-( ...but I would avoid Stargazers in the future. They are apparently very toxic to cats and my poor kitty was hospitalized last week for taking a few nibbles! She's OK now thank goodness."